Lines of Happiness

Imagine coming back from the shops and showing your shiny new happiness, to your family and friends
Imagine taking your new happiness for a test drive
With your new happiness, you can handle it, and also be happy while handling it
Never mind I can smile while sympathetically letting her unwind
With your Great Happiness you know that whatever happens in life you will happily handle it
Just how much would you pay for this paradise, if you knew that for the rest of your life you could happily deal with everything that life sends your way, good or bad
Imagine knowing that every day for the rest of your life you could happily handle anything and everything
Imagine that you never again let fear stop you from doing what you need to do
Bad News: The bad news is you can't go down the shops and buy Heroic or Great Happiness
You will find Heroic and Great Happiness right here
Is both very easy and also hard, it is instant and a lifetime away
Best of all is an unbreakable commitment to have this happiness come what may
After your decision you must follow through by sticking to it no matter what
You will not be pushed aside from your commitment to have this happiness
It is one of the most important values in your life
Your decision to have this happiness is instant, and will remain instant every time you make this decision to be happy, every day, hour minute
Achieving Heroic Happiness takes a lifetime of practice, and work
The longer you practice it the greater your happiness is for longer
Eventually you will move from being occasionally happy, to having Great Happiness, then having that prized goal of Heroic Happiness
Research shows that only a small percentage of people consider themselves "very happy"
Fortunately, for most people, there is a solution - a way to get started on a path to true, complete, and life-long happiness
You see, the first reason we can't be completely happy is that most of us don't really know what would make us truly happy in life
more money, a better relationship, a more fulfilling job, better looks, having children, less stress, fewer 'problems', or whatever
The truth is, though, most of us don't truly know because we never take the time to really figure it out - partly because it isn't always that easy to determine exactly what we need in our life to be totally happy
I call it our personal Definition of Happiness ' and it is different for everyone
The things that make me happy (or could make me happier) are different than the things that make you happy (or could make you happier)
If you looked up your own personal Definition of Happiness in the dictionary, what would it say
In other words, what is it - exactly and specifically - that would make you totally happy in life
If you could name 5 or 6 things that, if you had them in your life right now, would make you totally and truly happy for the rest of your life - what would they be
But have you ever really sat down and thought about it
And that's one of the main reasons why most people CAN'T be totally happy
It's like wanting to live in a warm, sunny climate and thinking that Seattle is where you want to be ' because it's such a nice place
Yes, it is a great place, but it probably wouldn't really be the right place for you
You would not be totally happy living there (again, even though it's a great place) since Seattle is a somewhat of a cooler, rainier city and what you really want is to live in a warm, sunny place
So, are you certain you know exactly what would make you totally happy in life
Again, most people don't ' mainly because they haven't taken the time and effort to figure it out
And, yes, it can require time and effort (and a lot of thought)
Most people just go through life striving to "be happy" (thinking they know what it would take to get there) but not really knowing
It's no wonder many people never get there (and can't be truly happy)
It's part of the reason why so many "famous", "wealthy", "successful", "healthy" people are miserable
They think the fame, wealth, success, and good health will make them happy (like thinking Seattle is the right place to live) but when they get those things they find out it's not what they really need to be happy
All those things are nice, and may add to a sense of contentment or joy, but it's not enough
It is important to know that the first essential step in the journey to the happiest possible life is to know the destination
That destination is described by your personal Definition of Happiness
Once you define what happiness means for you personally, you will be in a much better position to identify the steps required to get there by creating your personal Happiness Plan ' which is your 'map' for the journey to complete and total happiness and fulfillment
If you need help figuring out what would truly make you happy in life, click here
Your Definition of Happiness is not a personal mission statement or declaration of your purpose in life
It simply means answering the question: what would make you a totally happy and fulfilled person forever
Stated another way, if your life were to include everything written in your personal Definition of Happiness you would be totally happy for life, regardless of the circumstances
As Linda Ellis put it so well in her hugely popular poem called The Dash, it's really all about how you want to live your life (you can get your own copy of The Dash by clicking here - or you can just "experience" the poem by clicking here)
This is about you, your values, your priorities, your passions, and your identity
The main requirement is that it states your true feelings and includes everything required for you to be as happy as possible
It is not easy for most people to define happiness for themselves
It takes considerable thought, honesty, reflection, and introspection
And, it really needs to follow a certain "formula" for it to be valid - and form the foundation for your happiness
For starters, it is best for your Definition of Happiness to consist of the right number of "criteria" required for your happiness
In other words, your definition cannot contain too many or too few of the criteria which are needed for your happiness
For example, if you included only one thing (one criterion) in your definition that is required for your total happiness and it doesn't work out as planned, it will be unlikely that you'll be able to be truly happy in your life
Not only that, it is quite unlikely that anyone would have just one criterion for total happiness
So, if your Definition of Happiness were simply to become wealthy, for example, you would likely never be truly happy if that didn't happen for some reason
Additionally, though, even if you did get wealthy, you would probably still not be really happy if you had terrible relationships, significant regrets, or no self-respect
Wealth, in this example, could be part of your Definition of Happiness, but it should not be your entire definition
And, surely, wealth alone is very rarely (I would say never) anyone's ONLY criterion for happiness
Similarly, if there are too many criteria for you to meet in your personal Definition of Happiness, it is difficult to get them all aligned and you will likely not achieve maximum happiness either
So, for example, if you truly needed wealth, fame, perfect health, good looks, many good friends, a great marriage, an active sex life, enough free time to travel 12 weeks every year, a career as a successful musician, and the freedom to spend lots of time with your children, it might be tough to be totally happy since all those criteria are not likely to be met
You must take the time and effort to create your own personal Definition of Happiness
Guideline number 3 above may need a bit of explanation
'Relatively easy' here basically means setting yourself up for success (i
It doesn't necessarily mean it's a certainty, but it does mean it should be something likely to be achieved if you work on it
Things like 'getting rich' or 'becoming one of the best, most popular musicians in the world', for example, are not easy criteria to meet
They take considerable effort, persistence, maybe some 'luck' and probably the help of other people
'Contributing regularly to the lives of others' and 'pursing personal growth', on the other hand, are relatively easy to achieve ' partly because they are almost entirely within your control
But, as you can see, by 'relatively easy' I don't mean it takes no time or effort ' since, as you can see in my 'easy' examples here, they definitely take focus, commitment, time, and effort as well
Now, as you contemplate your own requirements for happiness (the 'criteria' for your Definition of Happiness), consider questions like:
The most critical factor in creating your personal Definition of Happiness is that it must be your definition
You should even feel some emotion when you read it, because once you have achieved a life totally consistent with your definition, nothing can make you unhappy, regardless of the circumstances that occur in your life, including the inevitable difficulties and challenges we all experience in life
So again, crafting your Definition of Happiness is a very important first step to lifelong happiness
Key Point #1: To be as happy as possible in life, your 'Definition of Happiness' must be fulfilled as completely as possible
Key Point #2: If you are truly happy according to your specific personal Definition of Happiness, nothing can make you unhappy ' even intensely negative situations or circumstances
As with many other happiness-building concepts, as mentioned previously, determining your Definition of Happiness can be difficult
So for additional help in creating your definition, click here
If you listen to the news reports, the key to happiness is to be found in a stack of dollar bills because that is how "they" all measure success and successful people are happy people, right
When people talk about dreams, they often speak of those dreams in terms of things that all cost money
Once you eliminate all of the outside voices, you start to listen to the one inside of you, the voice that is telling you what you need
Sure, you might need to work a job that leaves you less than thrilled to earn enough money to pay the bills, but do you have to stay extra hours at that miserable place if you don't like being there
One study looked at a group of parents who admitted that they did not care for their current job but were not in the position to make a change
Some were asked to work overtime hours and some were not
The people who worked the overtime earned more money than the others but in terms of happiness were either equally as happy or less happy than those who worked fewer hours
The reason was simple: not only were the overtime hours cutting into free time and time spent with family, it ended up costing more to many of the parents in the long run
Once they paid for additional child care, which sometimes meant some stressful negotiating to get the babysitter to stay late or even hiring a second care giver on a temporary basis, their overtime bonus was far lower than expected
If work is not doing it for you it is important to find at least one activity that makes you truly happy
How long has it been since you laughed until you were breathless
How long has it been since you took a nap for no reason or stayed up late to watch a Mel Brooks movie with your favorite person
Only you can hear the voice inside of you that is telling you to buy a red balloon and give it to a frowning child or to dance to the music in the grocery store
Only you know what makes you happiest and only you can get it for you
Happiness is the key to life and it is in your own back pocket
Have you asked yourself at times how can I be happy
Do you feel that there are things stopping your happiness in life

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